Ok, so here’s the gorgeousness of what we can do...
We can release mother nature’s natural wild, to liberate all of life to live alongside us, and instead of trying to stand separate and controlling, fighting the inevitability of change, we can reconnect & re-immerse ourselves within the powerful currents of the ebb and flow of life.
It can be terrifying to do this, to trust and move away from the lie of control that we are told we have. But it’s the difference between believing that we HAVE power to realising that we ARE power...
We are made up of the very earth on which we stand and the water that we drink and the air that we breathe. Our cells are constantly regenerating, dying, healing: our very beings are in a state of constant flux and we are told to try and control this, to fear this, to be on the watch from danger at every turn, to plan for futures that may never happen, to hold on to negative situations because we are so afraid of being alone/helpless, to stamp down our natural power and deliciousness - to wilfully misunderstand and dismiss it - because a person who has suddenly understood that they are connected (energetically, scientifically and molecularly) to all of life and powerful beyond measure has nothing to fear and nothing to hide.
We ARE powerful. We are power itself. Our wisdom should lie in what we already know: from our pulse and our heartbeat, to the breathe that fills our lungs to bursting and the solidity of the earth beneath our feet and the dancing, almost petulant beauty of the wind causing ripples on ponds/lakes/puddles and the tossing branches of the trees, framed by sunlight and backed by sky/clouds.
This post is already far more vulnerable/sentimental than I expected it to be but I just started writing and it all came pouring out.
Since I hit the road on Mission Milly in December I’ve been in a place of immense pain... I’ve been winding up a 10 year relationship and I’ve been working almost relentlessly: desperate to do well, to achieve goals that I had set myself, to not let anyone down and to make a difference to both people and animals who are vulnerable, helpless, without a voice and without much hope.
I felt that I had been given SO much in my life, from family who love me to an exceptional education and it was my duty to help others who had never been so fortunate nor so empowered. Caught up in a relationship that we both agreed should have ended years before, I think I’d stopped allowing myself to feel. I was so terribly afraid that it might overwhelm me but as a consequence I was quietly burning out, numb to almost everything except feelings of responsibility and stress.
Even heading off in a Campervan became a chore: the adventure of it another box to tick off that I was refusing to allow myself to enjoy because I was acting from a place of duty instead of a place of passion.
Through some fluke of chance I was invited to a business course focusing on following only what came up through your heart: a space of mindfulness and presence and following your instinct, however much you might have tried to squish it over the years. I committed to it completely, albeit being terrified. It offered such immense clarity that suddenly my work became a vision of passion and promise and greatness (far bigger goals than I had previously set myself) and for the first time I felt 100% attuned to what I felt I could achieve, for 8 disabled youngsters in Swaziland that I’d promised to help, to wildlife, our incredible landscape and a relearned respect for (and liberation of) vulnerable animals and other lives that needed help.
Still, behind everything, the habit of working too hard was still in play. So much of my existence was still numb and locked up, until I was provoked into going for a swim in a mountain lake in the middle of North Wales a few weeks ago and suddenly, something inside me woke up.
Parked up by the lake for the last 2 weeks, amidst work/phone calls I started running through forests and swimming in the lake each day. I thoroughly enjoyed 3 Campfires, I watched tiny ducklings investigate the soap I’d left on the bank and saw them contemplate making off with my van keys... And every day I felt called back for more... To stand bare foot on the earth and run my hands through the water and be conscious of my breath and pulse and power and to make peace that one day, ‘Alana’ as she is now, will be gone - back to the earth, to maybe become a bit of a flower and a bit of a tree - but that that was ok and actually pretty wonderful and in the meantime I had some incredible ideas that would aid/empower others and a unique platform to bring them about...
And so back to the gorgeousness of what we can do, and I do mean WE because I can envision, drive it and deliver it but I need your help like I need the earth, water and breath to really make it happen...
Plus there’s fabulous ways to tap into (see the 'Refresh Yourself' Page) your own immense gloriousness in the process.
As I travel in the Milly Van, raising the £1,000,000 for the home in Swaziland, I am enabled and positioned to utilise 'People Power' to rewild our urban landscape via the ‘Pocket Protection’ scheme and to help 100s of businesses (via Eco Intent) to switch to eco friendly, plant based, cruelty free products (while seeing their own profit margins increase) which will not only massively lessen the pollution of our waters/soil but also start to open our eyes to our use of animals in experimentation.
I was very confused on this issue until recently because testing on animals for cosmetics etc is widely frowned upon but it is still very much up for debate on whether a human life should be prioritised over an animal’s life for medical testing... Then I started speaking to Cruelty Free International and Animal Free Research and found out that science has moved on so far that there are now far more reliable ways to test on generated human tissue rather than animals (amongst other advances) so I am now even more committed to making it easy for people to make the switch to cruelty free products, hoping that this trend and transitioning mindset will allow for us to be comfortable giving up the use of animal testing completely, relearning our respect for every life, from bug to bunny, whilst learning to love and live fully to the max again.